I Forgot

I forgot what it was like to be in a relationship. But then I don't even know if I've ever been in a true real relationship. For the first time, this feels like it's something real. People say you do crazy things when you're in love [I know I don't love him...just to make that clear], but I don't think that's what it really is. Love should be an eye opener and not make you do crazy things. Doing the crazy things is more of a fantasy and lust. Relationships and liking someone....it's more of being able to see the person for who they are and who they're not and seriously....cutting the bullshit.

Yea, it's a nice thing to want to live love story fantasies, but honestly...it's just not real. It's not genuine if you got it from some movie or some love song. I don't wish it was me in the movies. And it's really weird because trust me...way back in the day...that was totally me. I wanted to be treated like a princess in the movies and all that shit. But I am being treated like a princess but just in his own way. He's a gentleman in his own way.

I know I can't change him. You can't change a person at all. But I just really hope that he helps me work this out. I want to work this out and I know if there's effort on both ends...it will work itself out somehow. I can't say if we're strong or not, it's still too early to tell. But I know that it's real and for now, that's what matters most to me.